Dumaan Ako

Berso #2
ni Maningning Miclat
(1972-2000)

Dumaan ako sa tahimik na ilog,
Ang buong mundo ay parang natutulog
Kung may bunga mang sa tubig ay mahulog
Parang ang puso ko itong nadudurog.

Kung mag-isa ako ay huwag nang isipin
Sa dilim ay dapat pa akong hanapin
Habang may luha ay huwag pang ibigin
Sa pangarap ko ay huwag nang gisingin.

Kaya kong maghintay sa mga tula mo
Makinig sa awit mula sa kabilang dako
At tuklasin sa paglalakad na ito
Hamog at luha ng bulaklak at damo.

Mapapanood ang sayaw ng tutubi
Mapapakinggan ang ibong humuhuni
Hihinahon ang pusong hindi mapakali
At hihimlay na sa mapayapang gabi.

Dumaan ako sa tahimik na ilog,
Ang buong mundo ay parang natutulog
Kung may bunga mang sa tubig ay nahulog
Parang ang puso ko nga itong nadudurog
Parang ang puso ko itong nadudurog.

(Click to watch music video)

Music by Cynthia Alexander and Joey Ayala

funeral blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead

Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,

Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last for ever; I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,

For nothing now can ever come to any good.

-W. H. Auden

post mortem

It was raining when I met her.
I was in U.S.T. that day doing some business I could no longer remember. I was supposed to go straight home but it started to drizzle and I didn’t even bring a jacket. So I decided to wait it out at a nearby café. I saw a friend of mine and she introduced me to her. We ended up staying there till it was about to close. The rain was relentless.
Some months later, our friend decided to set us up for a date. We ate at Gerry’s in Makati. It was raining.
Even though we were already inside we kept getting damped. The wind was strong. There was unexpected storm that day. Nevertheless, we still pushed through.
I arrived at home at around six in the morning. Some roads were flooded and I had to wait for the water to go down.
Looking back, it would seem, the day I first met her pretty much told our story. Full of weathered but merciless storms. Each one leaving a stain that scarred us. After awhile we couldn’t tell who we were anymore. I never realized it until now. Maybe it was a warning? Perhaps it was.
It was as if the sky was beseeching us not to go because it knew of the tragedy that was awaiting us.
Nevertheless, we still pushed through.
If that day was indeed a sign, it was a damn obvious one. I guess I just refused to see it.
The day we ended us the weatherman said a slight downpour was probable. I brought my jacket. I arrived at Vito Cruz late in the afternoon. For the next hour or so I waited for her and I still had no clue what to do. I was drained. And I felt like I was about to fall apart. I felt because I couldn’t think. I remember feeling like I was about to brace a tempest the moment she called and said she was already near.
When she arrived she seemed pleased to see me. I tried to bury my unease but she kept asking what was bothering me. I said it was nothing. I still didn’t know what to do. She insisted. I said no. She got mad. And I finally told her.
We ended not with a clash but with a whisper.
Then she left.
The month was September, in the middle of storm season.
I expected it to rain that day. Rain didn’t come, just a hush. I would have welcomed rain.
The sky was clear when she left.

tonight i can write the saddest lines

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example,'The night is shattered and the blue stars shiver in the distance.

'The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.

How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

To think that I do not have her.

To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.

And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.

The night is shattered and she is not with me.This is all

In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.

My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.

My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.

Her voice. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms.

my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer

and these the last verses that I write for her.

by Pablo Neruda